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You’re Never old enough to know better

One of our ANZAC registered members, Bill (ozstrider on this site) owns a gorgeous V11 Le Mans and regulalrly puts the beast to good use. Bill is a member of the Ulysses Motorcycle club...the old farts...Bills words, not mine! The Ulysses crowd celebrated their AGM recently and Bill rode the 1200kms from his home on his V11 (Hover over the images for explanation). and tells the story in his own inimitable style!

The Trip Down

That time of year again. The annual trek to the old farts motorcycle club AGM.Toowoomba to Canberra is around 1200 km, which is really just a good day’s ride. Unfortunately the mate I usually travel with, Gordon O’Donohue (GOD) had burst an eardrum and couldn’t attend this year, so I made arrangements to meet up with Dave (Bonneville) and Roy (FJR1300) from Cleveland and Maroochydore respectively on the Saturday prior.


The campgrounds in Canberra (EPIC) didn’t open until Monday morning so we had a couple of overnight stops.

We met at the truck stop on the northern side of Warwick, along with four other members from the Sunshine Coast. Of course the first words after saying “G’day” were along the lines of “Where’s GOD?” followed by “How the fark do you expect to keep up on a farking Moto Guzzi?” Good to see nothing had changed and the friendly banter was still prevalent.

After introductions, Don, (GSX 1400), Terry (Harley Softail), Peter (GTR 1000), Ron (KLE 500), we talked about the trip down. They were planning on black topping it all the way along the major highways, so I called them a bunch of boring old farts.

I suggested we travel down Thunderbolts Way, Putty Road and then head west to Cowra. Don said that’s the way he wanted to go anyway so all of a sudden it was decided and I was nominated ride leader.

The worst part about travelling in a big group is that it increases the time to get things done. For example, it takes longer to refuel the bikes, order your food, get your food, eat your food and then get back on the bike. It’s easier when there are only a couple of you. This is not the fault of one individual, it’s just how it is. Luckily, there were no smokers amongst us. So, when we finally left the truck stop, the Guzzi had the lead.

Glen Innes was the first of the elongated breaks. It took forever to get served although the tucker was great. I hate to say this, but there are times when stopping at places like McDonalds can be advantageous. Through Armidale and Uralla and head towards Walcha for a refuel. Now by this time, Dave’s back was starting to give him curry so we looked for a place to stay. Nothing available. There was a ‘big’ tennis tournament in town as well as a ‘big’ wedding…why did I suddenly think of duelling banjos???

Nowendoc is just off Thunderbolts Way. It has a general store and a motel which is usually empty because nobody knows where Nowendoc is, and wouldn’t usually have a reason to go there. The store also served fast food, groceries and grog – all at inflated prices – and while we were getting served, a couple of the locals invited us to check out their ‘club’ behind the store.

Well, the imaginary banjo music arced up really loud but we were impressed with the friendliness of the people. The snorers snored, the farters farted and the wanke… and eventually we all woke up.


It was fairly cool so we rugged up and hit the road, planning on getting breakfast later on.

Some of the more ‘expedient’ members headed off early and said they’d meet us at the lookout several kilometres south.

The views from the lookout are outstanding and I got several photographs.

Thunderbolts way was magic. I started to pull away from the group, enjoying the corners. I started to feel a bit guilty so I stopped, got out the camera and got a photo of each rider coming around a bend…all except Roy.

He was dawdling quite a way back and came up beside me as I was walking back to the Guzzi. It actually gave me a bit of a shock, especially when Roy stated in one of his previous e-mails to me that he hoped I could keep up. “Has your farken Guzzi broken down?” Smart arse!

Anyway, back on the road, passed Roy - and the others a few kilometres later - and continued on. The Guzzi was singing. I’d been on Thunderbolts Way before but never on the Guzzi. The corners just flowed and, best of all, I was ‘in tune’ with the bike. Scraped the boots a couple of times but the bike is just so easy to ride. I moved my toes onto the pegs and setting up became natural. As we neared Gloucester I had to pull up to allow the rest to catch up. We continued south to Stroud Road where we headed to Dungog, Gresford then on to Singleton. The road from Dungog to Gresford is bloody rough. Terry had a moment when he overshot a corner, ended up in the dirt but skilfully (or luckily, or both) managed to hold it, rejoining the bitumen about 100 metres later. Soon after – probably as a result of his excursion, one of his bags fell off, scattering its contents everywhere. Terry just carried on while others had to alert him to the problem. He ended up losing a torch (“and it had a NEW farken battery, I was pissed off with losing that! The battery was worth more than the farken torch.”)


At the same time as Terry’s gear was being retrieved, Peter and I were in Singleton, wondering what happened to the rest of them. Anyway, a long break for lunch and onto the Putty. If you’ve never ridden the Putty Road, do yourself a favour and do it! This is one of the best motorcycling roads in Oz. The surface is great, it is well maintained and signposted – and patrolled by the police. I managed to get a break and overtake a van towing a boat. It was easy to get back into the rhythm and the Guzzi began to sing again. I kept the revs between four and seven thousand, using the magnificent gearbox to set speeds for corners. Again, they just flowed. Even the hard braking for the u-turns became just part of the joy of riding.
Pulled up at a truck stop to wait for the others. Went to the toilet, came out, waited, talked to another motorcyclist and eventually Terry arrived, followed by a cop car, and not long after by the rest of the crew. Thankfully the copper kept going – but he did slow down and gave me the “You’re old enough to know better” look. I just smiled.

We continued south until the Kurrajong turnoff then headed west. Don reckoned “The best part about Lithgow is the corners heading into it.” Unfortunately there was a Holden ute* in the way. Never mind. Lithgow is by no means a tourist haven. We filled up and continued west through Bathurst to Cowra.

I was expecting the group to want to do a lap of Mt Panorama Racing Circuit but no-one seemed interested. It’s a pity because it’s a lot of fun to ride. We hit Cowra around 5:00 pm. We went to a pub, looking for accommodation but it had changed owners and the standard of the rooms left a lot to be desired.


Went to another one that I had previously stayed at, only to find they no longer offered accommodation.
We ended up in a motel, where we arranged a bit of a discount. Dinner that night was in the Hong Kong Chinese Restaurant, which is very highly recommended.

It was very cool the next morning. I was worried whether the Guzzi would want to start. I’d had previous experience with hard starting in cold weather. Key in, enrichment lever on, turn the key, wait ‘til the fuel pump pressurizes the lines, press the starter and….she started in a couple of revolutions! There was no hurry to get to Canberra. EPIC didn’t open until 10:00 am.
We headed through the rolling hills towards the Hume Highway and Yass. All of a sudden there were bikes everywhere. Ulyssians were heading to Canberra in droves. When one rider took the Yass turnoff, it threw confusion amongst our group. I was at the back at this stage and when we all pulled up, two were unaccounted for. The decision was made to carry on – and we found the others waiting for us at the other side of the intersection. Who turned off? Not one of our crew.

We took the Canberra turnoff and most of us immediately noticed the improvement in road quality. As we entered the ACT, it was obvious the local Canberra group had put a lot of time and effort into erecting signposts. It was easy to find the venue and we pulled in to register…as had about 500 others! We joined the queue and eventually got through. Ron and I set up tents, Dave, Roy, Terry and Don had accommodation in ‘tent city’ and Peter was staying in a motel off base.
After setting up, we looked for something to eat and drink and were a bit pissed off with the prices. Now, you can’t blame the local Ulysses group for this, the local agricultural society set the prices, so we just had to grin a bear it. Besides this, the only beer available on base was Carlton Draught, Victoria Bitter and Hahn Light. The first two are (in my humble opinion) shitful. Drinking Hahn is ok except its like ‘making love on the beach’ (Farking close to water!)

Back at the tents, Ron complained that his rear brake was making a funny noise. We checked his pads. Metal on metal does that! While we were at it we advised him to get a new tyre as the one he came down with was illegal. On top of all that, his speedo drive in the front hub shat itself next day. He had to source another hub from the wreckers. It sort of served him right. He knows stuff all about bikes (he freely admits it) and didn’t do any preventive maintenance – or get a mechanic to give it the once over.

Some unfortunate soul had the pleasure of seeing his bike cover caught by a willy-willy and fly several hundred feet in the air. It eventually came down a few kilometeres away, landed in a tree and was recovered undamaged. One of the Ulysseans had a Boss Hog, V8 Chevy powered bike. He annoyed a lot of people with it (showing off and noise mainly), so when he started doing rolling burnouts on it, there seemed to be a collective wish that he’d drop it. He didn’t.

The Test Rides

The rest of the blokes I came down with wondered why I wanted to test ride bikes. It’s part of the ‘some people confuse breathing in and out with living’ thing. The manufacturers bring most of their current stock to the AGM – probably because where else would you find such a huge group of cashed up potential customers. I was under orders. I had to ride and give opinions on the Suzuki DL 650 V-Strom and the Triumph Thruxton. Personally, I wanted to ride the Moto Guzzi Breva and any of the Buells.
One of the best things about my job is that you get to correspond with interesting people all around Oz. I had been in touch with several Canberrans through the ‘Motorcycling’ bulletin board at work.

It was a coincidence that Bob, Cath and Brian had accepted an offer to be escort riders for the Suzuki display. I went to the Suzuki tent asked if somebody could point out Bob and we met. I think he’d just got off a scooter at the time.

Anyway, I was immediately invited to a barbecue on the Thursday night. Additionally, I had been invited to Wednesday dinner by another Canberran, Doug, who unfortunately couldn’t gain access to EPIC. With Bob, Cath and Brian, it was as if we’d known each other for years. We talked about the trip down, how the demo ride track was bloody woeful and lots of other things like the fantastic roads around Canberra, Bob’s new Nissan Patrol…and home brewing.

I also explained that the majority of Ulyssians they would meet are in dire need of a rider training course! This was confirmed during the next few days with several of them dropping the bikes. I think only one suffered any ‘real’ damage and that was a BMW.

Anyway, back to the bikes I rode and my impressions – in no particular order... First of all, I must explain that I only use the clutch for starting and stopping. Clutchless changes are the norm for me and it would take a lot longer than a 15 minute test ride to get used to several of the gearboxes.

The DL 650 V-Strom is a very capable bike. I found the gearbox a bit awkward in the lower gears but it had good power, handled well and was comfortable. Changing lines in corners was no problem and during the course of the meeting, it gained quite a few admirers. As a matter of fact Ron, the bloke who came down with us, reckoned he was trading his KLE500 for it after the meeting.

The Buell suffers from an agricultural gearbox. It would take an awful long time to get used to that bloody thing! It was also uncomfortable at low speed if you didn’t feather the clutch. Having said that, it had great power, turned in very well and was very stable at the speeds we rode. Changing lines in a corner was also very easy. Braking was fantastic. Pity about that gearbox. A couple of mates have told me they thought the whole package was great. I must admit to being disappointed.

The Thruxton was fun to ride. It took me back about 30 years. The gearbox was several generations better though! Lots of power, handled and braked extremely well. The only criticism was the height of the tank, which meant that I couldn’t grip it with my knees to alleviate the weight on my wrists. If I could afford another bike, I’d buy one tomorrow! Particularly with the after market pipes that they had fitted. What a beautiful note!

The Aprilia RSVR was awesome! This is a racebike with lights. It is very easy to ride, handles superbly and has gobsmacking power. Out of the roundabout I gave it a good twist of the wrist. It reached 180 effortlessly and a split second later was well over 200. I don’t know how far exactly but I backed off. It would be very easy to lose your licence on this bike in an extremely short space of time. Turning in, changing lines, braking…everything excellent. It also had the best gearbox I’ve ever used – notwithstanding the slipper clutch. I want one. I can’t afford one – money wise or licence wise.

The MG Breva was great. A surprising package for a 750 shaftie with everything you’d need for a mid-range tourer. It also had a great gearbox, handled extremely well with good power and great brakes. It was sold before the end of the meeting…as were two 750 Nevadas, perhaps the RSVR and several Suzukis. I don’t know about the rest. I didn’t ride any of the V11 range, after all – I’ve got a Le Mans!

I was fortunate enough to be the only Ulyssian (I think) to ride the GSX-R1000. This came about because Bob, Cath and Brian put in a good word about me to Gus, the Australian Suzuki importer. I had to put on one of the escort riders vests so that no other Ulyssian would bug them for a test ride. (Thanks guys!) The Gixxer is in the same class as the RSVR. It’s a superbike with lights. Bob had warned me that it didn’t like changing lines in a corner. I didn’t find it too bad – perhaps I wasn’t going fast enough! Like the V-Strom, I didn’t like the gearbox in the lower ranges. Other than that it was, like the RSVR, an awesome potential licence losing machine!
Riding to Doug’s place on Wednesday, we swapped bikes. His Bandit 1200 was good fun to ride. The gearbox is easy to use and it handled very well. Brakes are good and it is very smooth.

Power was good too. Doug complains of fuel surge but I never felt it. Doug has since traded the Bandit on a DL650 V-Strom. (I wonder what Doug thought of your Guzzi...Joe)

Apart from the rides, you could inspect any bike on display. One of the most outlandish bikes was the Triumph Rocket III. Believe it or not, it is very easy to manoeuvre due to low seat height and very low centre of gravity.

Although I never rode it, many riders said it was very easy to ride and had incredible acceleration. They had an engine in bits inside the tent. It uses the same starter motor as a Land Rover Discovery. The pistons are huge! It looks very well engineered.

The Trade Stalls

Besides the bikes, there were all manner of trade displays. From trikes to trailers – even a solid caravan – if it was to do with bikes, it could be purchased. Helmets, jackets, intercoms, bike stands, after market exhausts, it was all there – and at reasonable prices too. I was very tempted to buy a new jacket but resisted the urge to buy a ‘special’. “A pair of Staintunes for the Guzzi sir? That’ll be $1100” (pity!) The Australian Motorcycle Trader showbag went for $15. It included a T-shirt, stubby cooler and a copy of the magazine.

The Fun Bits

Monday and Tuesday nights were reasonably quiet. The Carlton Draught, Victoria Bitter and Hahn Light saw to that. Wednesday night was another matter though. Doug fed me some really nice home brewed dark ales, which went down very well. Although they weren’t full strength, I accepted his offer to stay the night. Tam, his lovely wife, had cooked roast lamb. Doug and I sat up until fairly late talking about rider training, bikes and other bike related subjects.

Thursday evening I accompanied Bob and Cath to their home south of Canberra. We stopped by Gecko Motorcycles along the way and I got photos of some old Italian bikes that they had on display including a couple of Falcones and a Lodola. That night was a barbecue with Bob, Cath and Brian. Again, some excellent home brews were drunk, we talked about bikes of course, and I really don’t know what time we went to bed. Bob reckons we demolished the equivalent of a slab (24 cans) between the lot of us – plus port and some stuff that Cath had. I was relieved next morning when I didn’t wake up with a hangover.

The ride to EPIC amongst Canberra’s rush hour traffic was ‘interesting’ and we managed to slow down in time for the speed camera! Friday I had a lunch invitation from people I’d worked with in Oakey. One of the great things about Canberra is the number and quality of restaurants. Another great thing is the free motorcycle parking! We ate at the Asian Café, which was very good. It’s great to meet up with old friends but unfortunately they had to go back to work.

The Parade

The club has a street parade every AGM and it’s usually along some of the major roads. Both sides of ANZAC Parade were full of bikes on Saturday morning. We’d hoped that we could do a lap of Parliament House, but it wasn’t to be. The parade ran smoothly enough but didn’t take any of the major thoroughfares. The destination was a sports park several kilometres away where we were welcomed by a ‘representative’ of the ACT Chief Minister. It was disappointing really. The Yamaha raffle prize was a home entertainment system. I didn’t win it.

After the speeches, an award for the Motorcycle Apprentice of the Year was presented to a young lady from Townsville. The prize was an Aprilia RS125, donated by the John Sample Group, importers of Aprilia and Moto Guzzi. One of the highlights for me was a display of old bikes, including a 1909 Triumph, a beautiful Brough Superior, Ariel Square Four, a Scott, BSAs, other Triumphs, a nice Indian and of course, Harleys.

The Functions

Have you ever tried to feed around 5000 people in one sitting without somebody whingeing? The only person I’ve ever heard of doing it successfully was Jesus. Yes, there were whinges. I didn’t attend the Friday night function but I can assure you the large piece of beef I had on Saturday night was bloody good. At $30 a head for two courses and entertainment, how could you complain? One of the best things about the functions is they bring everybody together. I managed to catch up with a heap of people I hadn’t seen since the last meeting – and probably won’t see again until the next. It’s a shame because you can really get to feel part of a large family. The Honda raffle prize was a scooter. (I’m glad) I didn’t win that either!

The Trip Home

Amongst the people I travelled down with, Terry was the first to leave. Apparently his son in law plays for Cronulla Sharks Rugby League Club and he’d been invited to attend Saturday’s game. Next to leave was Roy. He got a phone message from a woman back in Queensland and, thinking with his little head instead of his real head, disappeared early one morning. Now this was handy for me as my air mattress had a slow leak. I moved into his tent – complete with folding bed and mattress. Of the remainder, Don was heading to Sydney, Peter was going down south and Ron staying behind to buy a new bike.

Dave and I headed out around 7:30 on Sunday morning. We breakfasted at Maccas in Cowra and just headed north. We chose to go through Gunnedah, then up Fossickers Way to overnight at Warialda. The girl at the servo recommended the Royal Hotel and that’s where we stayed. Dave is great company. We were in the army together and share a lot of views. A few beers, across the road to the café for dinner, back for a few more beers, a few more to take up to the room, an unsuccessful attempt to get more after we finished them – and eventually to bed.

Next morning was also an early start. It’s really the wrong time to travel on country roads. I think it’s also lucky we couldn’t get the extra beers! Fortunately we only saw a couple of roos and these were easily avoided. We had breakfast in Inglewood, food good, coffee shitful! Refuelled at Gore and bade each other farewell. We continued on the highway through Warwick and passed the truck stop where we met for the trip down. Has it really been nine days - seems like only yesterday. I veered off at the Toowoomba turnoff, waving goodbye to Dave. Who knows…we may even see each other before the next AGM!

Back in familiar territory. Nothing has changed. Up the driveway, park the bike. Nobody home. Unpack the gear, shower, make a decent cup of coffee and relax. And of course…the Guzzi never let me down. Another AGM over. Damn! It’s a year ‘til the next one!

"Ron complained that his rear brake was making a funny noise. We checked his pads. Metal on metal does that!"

Terrific story Bill, thank you for sharing it with us. That Thunderbolt Way sure does look inviting...for those of us who live miles away, check it out on "Google Earth". If you wish to read more from Bill, click here to read his other feature: GO

If you would like your bike or story featured, drop me a line at joe@guzzista.com or simply download this for a few writing tips: GO . If you wish to comment on this story, simply add a thread at the foot of this page!